In honor of National Cocoa Day, I urge you all to consider what life would be like if you spent the day sledding, came home, and cuddled up in front of the fire with a nice mug of grapefruit juice.

It has come to my attention that cocoa doesn’t get enough appreciation. (Personally, I prefer a strong Hot Toddy, but it’s not National Hot Toddy Day.)

Originally brought to you by the same civilization that will bring you the end of the world in 8 days, a cocoa pod (which is a fruit, strangely enough) has a rough leathery rind about 3 cm thick. It is filled with sweet, mucilaginous pulp enclosing 30 to 50 large seeds that are fairly soft and white to a pale lavender color. I stole all of that straight from Wikipedia, but it’s okay because I turned my English degree around so it was facing the wall first.

What the frack does this have to do with Tractor, you might be asking. (I feel compelled to add that Microsoft Word not only hates the word ‘frack,’ but also would like that sentence to read “What the frack this has to do, Tractor?”) I might have also had too much coffee this morning, but sometimes Skye and I have a hard time knowing when enough is enough in the office.

So what the frack this has to do, Tractor?

Ever had an Oatmeal Stout? It’s brown and tastes like dinner. It also tastes like dessert, because that baby is made with a big ol’ heapin’ batch of chocolate malt, and I don’t mean the milkshake kind. Chocolate malt is a specialty malt that imparts roasted, nutty flavors to a beer. The malt is also responsible for the rich body of the stout since the sugars in the malt aren’t fermentable.  That part did not come from Wikipedia and I am now feeling like a malt know-it-all. (I’m not.)

Funnily enough, chocolate malt, much like my dog, is referred to as chocolate for its rich brown coloring, not because it’s made of cocoa. Which might or might not make my entire point moot, but I’m trucking on at full speed now.  Long story short (did I mention the coffee problem?), it’s a great day to be appreciative of cocoa, chocolate malt, chocolate dogs, and chocolate shakes. Go have an Oatmeal Stout and a good time.